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Why ‘space’ may be a healthy solution for your relationship


When you’re in the middle of any sort of relationship crisis, the very last thing you want to do is let go. Conflict with someone you love often makes you want to do the very opposite, especially when the other person is already doubting the future of the relationship.

Giving each other “some space” in your relationship may seem or sound dramatic, as it gives off the impression that your relationship is struggling or that you just can’t stand each other anymore, but that’s really not the case. Having time by yourself is a totally normal part of a healthy relationship.

“Taking time for ourselves may seem selfish, as though we’re avoiding our partner,” explains clinical hypnotherapist, author and educator Rachel Astarte, who offers transformational coaching for individuals and couples at Healing Arts New York. tells Bustle.

According to, space has nothing to do with how your relationship is going. Having some time apart is important to both people involved — and can also benefit the relationship as a whole.

When we’re feeling threatened by the loss of someone we love, we act from a place of fear. Our stress hormones skyrocket as we react with our fight or flight instinct. Suddenly we hold tighter, talk more, do more, and think of nothing else,” says Bettina Rae of

However, with a little space and hindsight, it is easy to see this sort of intensity around a negative situation only works to amplify the anger and resentment that both parties being feel.

“When you are mid-crisis and fighting though, it is very hard to see that the very thing you are doing to try and resolve the situation is actually making everything far worse.”- Rae

Rather than continuing on down a negative spiral of conflict, focusing only the wrongs and mistakes that are happening in the relationship, space may help you and your partner to take a step back and be honest with one another about your individual roles in the relationship conflict.